My Daily Negotiation with Myself

By Eric Chow

Every morning l try to be a helpful husband by taking my 4-year-old daughter Eva to school. Otherwise my wife Vanessa would have to take all the kids. This means loading and unloading four little ones into a van, first at home, then at school, then again at home. This is no simple task- it’s an event! It’s much easier for me to just take Eva to school on my way to work. And, if the morning routine is going well, we can make it to daily mass (a highlight for me, especially with my little girl!). School starts at 8:40 am and l am able to get into the office shortly after.

My role with CCO allows for great flexibility in my work schedule. This sounds like an ideal situation for us, but I’m constantly negotiating in my own mind. Wanting to be both a helpful father and a good missionary I try to budget my time and activities.  l’ll come into work a bit late so I can take Eva to school, but I’ll work late or make phone calls via my Bluetooth headset while driving to make up the time. This chatter takes place in my mind many times in a day and it plays a big part in my life.  I often wonder if I have made the most prudent decision that is  just for both my family and for ministry.

I’m not saying that being a husband and father is at odds with being a CCO missionary. Quite the contrary, in fact. I think my self-talk helps clarify and strengthen how I define each role (that’ll be for another post). And with that comes confidence and action.

I also stand on the role that defines me more than anything else: I am a beloved son of the Father, who has redeemed me through His Son, Jesus.

And so, I’ll just keep talking to myself…


1 Comment
  1. Eric , liked the story about you and you father fishing .

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